Decent Marketing

Please Leave The Stage

Are there certain commercials that make you willing to risk life and limb to leap across the coffee table to turn down the volume on your television?  (Yes, I know the remote control has a mute button, but that only works if you can actually find the remote control.)  There are certain product spokespeople that would really be doing me an enormous favor if they'd agree to leave the stage.  Immediately.

* Dr. Greg Cynaumon, CortiSlim -- Dr. Cynaumon is the pitchman for a diet supplement that was created by Dr. Shawn Talbott.  Well, where is Dr. Talbott, and why can't he sell his own stuff?  I can't help but wonder if he's trapped under a piece of heavy furniture somewhere.  Dr. Cynaumon, by the way, is a psychologist.  Here he explains that his credibility in the field of nutrition comes from his experience as a lifelong dieter.

* Sabine Ehrenfeld, Overstock.com -- What's with the oversexed presentation of this online discount retailer?  This woman is indeed beautiful, but the whole foreplay act is over the top.  If it wasn't so wierd, I think I'd laugh out loud every time these commercials come on.  Instead, I find myself nervous that she might have the big "o" right in the middle of the ad.

* "Lost another loan to DiTech!" Guy, DiTech.com -- I know I'm not the first person to point out how annoying these ads are, but I feel I must add my voice in the hopes that we might reach critical mass and be able to rid the airwaves of them.

* Wendi Friesen, the Zen of Thin -- If you've heard her radio commercials, then you must now be aware that her hypnotherapy tapes can cure your weight problems, anxiety disorders, sex problems, alcoholism, energy problems and even help you to spot a liar.  Having never experienced hypnotherapy, I can't comment on whether it works.  But I'm bothered by what seems to be an oversimplified approach to what are some very serious issues, like alcoholism and anxiety disorders.  I must admit, though, that I'm intrigued by the idea that I might be better able to spot liars.

Is there anybody you'd like to add to this list?

Tag: marketing

Staying On the Rails No Matter What

This post from Headrush (Link: Creating Passionate Users: Most classroom learning sucks.) reminded me of a post I've been planning to write about a children's story that illustrates how society at large tries to prevent individuals from thinking for themselves or taking the unbeaten path in their work and personal lives.

If you're my age, most likely you remember Little Golden Books from your childhood -- The Poky Little Puppy, Tawny Scrawny Lion, Scuffy the Tugboat, etc. (I'm praying right now that you're not thinking, "Gee, I've never heard of those. How old is she??!!!) I bought a set of Little Golden Books for my son a while back because I thought it would be fun to read him the same stories that were read to me when I was little. One of the books, called "Tootle", really threw me for a loop.

The story is about a little locomotive named Tootle. In a town called Lower Trainswitch, Tootle attends a school for engines, where all baby locomotives are taught how to be big locomotives. They learn lessons in Whistle Blowing, Stopping for a Red Flag Waving and more. Most importantly, the young trains are told that they will never amount to anything unless they get "100 A+ in Staying on the Rails No Matter What". Tootle, of course, wants to be the best train ever so he works hard and practices all the various lessons. But one day, while out practicing Staying on the Rails No Matter What, he sees a horse and decides to race it. Near the end of the race, he jumps off the tracks so he can keep up with the horse. He ends up hanging out with the horse in the meadow and really enjoys himself, even though he knows he's not supposed to leave the rails. Days pass, with Tootle secretly spending more and more time off the rails to dance in fields of buttercups, observe green frogs, play with daisies and chase butterflies. In the story, he's never happier than when he's in the meadow.

Eventually, the villagers of Lower Trainswitch and the school administrators learn that Tootle has been leaving the tracks. They devise a plan to hide in the meadow and raise red flags in front of him every where he turns, since trains always stop for red flags. They know this will make him miserable, and change his opinion forever of leaving the rails. As the plan is enacted, there is an illustration in the book of Tootle crying, because everywhere he turns in his beloved meadow, people are hiding behind trees and bushes waving red flags. He ends up deciding never to go into the meadow again, saying "There is nothing but red flags for locomotives that get off their tracks."

That story, written by Gertrude Crampton and published in 1945, has been read by millions of children. And it is played out every day in the world when people try to keep others quiet, encourage them to behave, play by the "rules", draw within the lines and follow the right path (as if there was only one right path). It's probably not much of a stretch for you to imagine an entire department/family/company/society conspiring to keep you from doing something different. It happens to all of us. I remember reading this out loud to my son and, mortified, thinking I'd never read it to him again. Because whatever it is that the rest of the world expects him to be or do, I want him to do whatever makes him happy. Rails need not apply.

Empirical Experience

On Wednesday, there was a story in the New York Times by John Holusha about the Empire State Building updating its tourist experience.   According to the article, "The waiting areas will be transformed with additional security checkpoints and ticket windows to minimize delays and add a dash of entertainment for those who wait."  That dash was said to be information focusing "on the building's history and its connections with celebrities."  The redesign also will include more bathrooms (always a welcome addition!).  Good for them for making an effort to improve the way people experience a New York landmark.

Tag: marketing

Delta's Undeserved Pat on the Back

Authenticity is one of the keys to experiential marketing, or to all Decent Marketing, for that matter.  So you can just imagine how much I can't stand it when a company is undeservedly self-congratulatory, or takes credit where credit isn't due.  Delta's new full-page ad campaign for its launch of Simplifares really grates on my nerves.  The ad features the headline "How one airline is changing everything," as well as the company's new slogan "Good goes around."  Are you kidding me?! 

As a Delta Medallion member and resident of Atlanta, I feel I can discuss Delta with a fair amount of authority.  Firstly, on the headline "How one airline is changing everything", Delta clearly was not the airline that changed everything.  Have they never heard of Southwest Airlines or JetBlue?  If we were being perfectly honest here, the ad might have read "How one airline finally got the picture" or "How one airline eventually got a clue before going completely bankrupt".  For sure, other major airlines are now following suit, so Delta is having an impact, but I still don't see how they could have written that ad with a straight face.

And then there's "good goes around".  Well it sure does.  So what is it that Delta has done that is so good the company felt it should claim the phrase as its slogan?  I decided to check out the last 2004 Air Travel Consumer Report from the Department of Transportation.  According to that report, from October 2003 to October 2004, Delta ranked 15th out of 19 airlines tracked in terms of on-time arrivals, with 76.8% of arrivals on time.  Continental, JetBlue, United, Airtran, Northwest and Southwest all had better percentages.  When it comes to bags, Delta mishandled more bags than any other airline in October 2004, according to the report, with 34,723 baggage reports.  They also oversold more flights than JetBlue, Airtran, United, American, Northwest, US Airways and Southwest.  And finally, in terms of complaints filed with the Department of Transportation by consumers, the report indicates that Delta received more complaints than any other airline in October 2004, and ranked 16^th out of 19 airlines tracked in terms of complaints per enplanements.  The airlines with the least complaints were ExpressJet, SkyWest, JetBlue and Southwest.  If that’s the kind of good that’s going around, I don’t want any.

As an Atlantan, as someone who lives on the South side of the city where most of the pilots and flight attendants live, and as a Delta frequent flyer, I want Delta to succeed.  It’s great to be able to run up to Hartsfield and go anywhere I want to go, and actually have a chance of getting an upgrade now and then.  But you can’t claim you’re Hertz when you’re Avis or Enterprise.  Delta would have been better served to take the “We’re going to try harder” approach.  It would be more believable, and completely welcomed.

Tag: marketing

Exactly What Is "Experiential Marketing?"

Obviously my head must be in the clouds because I've completely missed the discussion going on over at AdRants about Experiential Marketing. (How could someone possibly have a conversation about the topic without involving me??!! Wink, wink.) Anyway, I see my friend David Wolfe has weighed in on the topic and I thought you might want to check out his thoughts. His thoughts are always good.

Link: Ageless Marketing: Exactly What Is "Experiential Marketing?".

Target Online & Customer Service. Not.

I finally figured out what the definition of customer service is over the holidays.  It means the customer is responsible for working their ass off to get any service they can possibly squeeze out of the company from which they have bought goods and services.

Case in point -- Target.com.  I ordered a playhouse for my son for Christmas -- the big plastic kind that you put in your yard in which children can pretend to be homeowners without any of the actual hassles of homeownership.  I ordered it on November 28, figuring I'd be more than safe in getting it in time for the Big Day.  This was the only thing he had asked for, his Christmas 2004 Holy Grail.  Every single time he ran into Santa he said the same thing:  I want a toy playhouse.  This item was the linchpin, the key to my enjoyment of Christmas morning.

I received an email from Target informing me the house would be delivered somewhere between Dec. 9 and 16.  I called Target on Dec. 20 (call #1) to find out why it hadn't yet arrived, and after calling the number back three different times until I figured out what magical combination of numbers to press, I got a real person.  This very nice person called the shipping company, Eagle Logistics, and was told that the shipping company had had the item since Dec. 13th and had been calling and calling me to schedule delivery and had not heard back.  Amazing, considering I had been home all week and hadn't heard a peep.  Helpful Target Guy gave me the number for Eagle Global Logistics.  I called them (call #2) and ended up speaking to a somewhat snarky woman who basically admitted someone lied to Helpful Target Guy, because they didn't even have my phone number on file.  I asked her whether anyone had planned to eventually call Target to get my number, or if they just planned to leave the playhouse sitting there until it crumbled.  Well, I didn't actually say that.  But I thought it.   She said she'd have someone call me to schedule delivery later that day.  No one called.  I called again that afternoon (call #3) and was told that the driver would call me to schedule delivery.  No one called.  In the meantime, I sent an email to Target's Customer Service department complaining.  They responded by giving me a 50% refund on my shipping costs.  Nice, but all I wanted was the product I had paid for, and they didn't offer me any further help on getting it.  So I called Eagle again on the 21st (call #4).  I eventually happened upon Helpful Eagle Guy Steve, thank St. Nick!, and he put me in touch with someone (call #5) who put me in touch with someone else (call #6) who delivered the playhouse to me on December 23.  And not a moment too soon.  Needless to say, I will never order anything from Target.com again. 

When I filled out my order form and paid my $640.46, I thought I had done all the work necessary.  Clearly, I was mistaken.  Anybody else work hard to get decent service this holiday season?

Tag: marketing

Tsunami Relief

As Decent Marketers, let's make sure our companies get off of their comfy, cushy butts and donate to those countries that have been devastated by the tsunami.  Here's a list of corporations who have already begun to do their part.